Holiday fun

A current post on Labour Home features a "Fantasy Cabinet" with John McDonnell as PM, Bob Marshall Andrews as Home Secretary and Dianne Abbott as Health Secretary, among other things.

This will, of course, remain exactly that - a Fantasy Cabinet, though for most of us, I expect it is more the stuff of nightmares.

Meanwhile, what of the more realistic alternatives? Well, for what it's worth, here's my suggestion for a balanced Labour team to fight the next election, providing a blend of youth and experience, male and female, Blairite, Brownite, and independent left.

Readers are of very welcome to suggest their own line-ups!

Prime Minister: Gordon Brown
Deputy Prime Minister and Communities and Regions Secretary: Hazel Blears
Chancellor of the Exchequer: David Miliband
Foreign Secretary: Hilary Benn
Home Secretary: John Denham
Leader of the House of Commons: Jack Straw
Party Chairman: Alan Johnson
Minister of Justice: Des Browne
Minister for Consitutional Affairs and Devolved Institutions: Peter Hain
Trade and Industry Secretary: Alastair Darling
Defence Secretary: John Reid
Education Secretary: John Hutton
Health Secretary: Yvette Cooper
Transport Secretary: Douglas Aleaxander
Work and Pensons Secretary: Ruth Kelly
Environment Secretary: Charles Clarke
Culture, Media and Sport: James Purnell
Leader of the Lords: Lord Kinnock
International Development Secretary: Jacqui Smith
Minister for Social Exclusion: Stephen Timms
Chief Secretary to the Treasury: John Healey
Chief Whip: Nick Brown

Out go: Tony Blair, John Prescott, Margaret Beckett, Charlie Falconer, Patricia Hewitt, Tessa Jowell, Hilary Armstrong and Valerie Amos.

A constructive Unionist response

On page nine of his latest Statement of Aims and Values, David Cameron promises that his party will "strengthen the United Kingdom by providing a constructive Unionist response to the West Lothian Question."

If this strikes you as woffle, you shouldn't be too surprised, given Cameron's previous policy statement promising that a Tory Government would be in favour of "a strong economy" and "representing modern Britain."

There are in fact only two "constructive Unionist responses" to the West Lothian Question. One is to abolish the Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly and return all decision-making to a unitary UK Parliament. The other is to create an English Parliament with equivalent powers to the other two devolved institutions.

It's your call, Dave.

Blackpool Forever!

A fearful furore appears to have erupted on the Tory blogosphere over a decision by the party's board to return to Blackpool for its 2007 conference.

My days of attending party conferences are thankfully over, but I have to say I have a bit of a soft spot for what the Daily Telegraph's diarist calls the "tatty old Lancashire resort."

On my first visit there, in 1995, I stayed in a pub called The Empress. The room was a bit basic, but it stayed open till about 3am in the morning and served an excellent pint of Thwaites Bitter. Who could want more?

Mind you, not everyone felt the same. I remember one fellow hack,who is now a political editor on a national newspaper, being rather put out to find an incontinence mattress on the bed in his B&B.

I do agree with the general thrust of opinion that the Winter Gardens is an appalling venue, and it absolutely the case that however much money they spend on it, it will continue to smell of stale beer and tobacco, forever conjuring up in my mind the lost political era of "smoke-filled rooms" and "beer and sandwiches at No 10."

But the Imperial Hotel, by contrast, is a fantastic venue - the "No 10 bar" there is easily the best drinking hole in any of the regular conference venues and I have many happy memories of long story-getting evenings spent there.

I have far worse party conference memories of Brighton, which invariably became a complete security nightmare at conference time due to the need to seal-off the main road in front of the conference centre.

For some reason, I also seemed to get worse hangovers in Brighton as well. But that's another story.

Well done England

I must admit I had my doubts about Steve McLaren. He came over as a bit of a yes-man during the Eriksson era and I don't really think his "achievements" in the domestic game quite merited such a promotion, although he was very good at Derby during the Jim Smith era.

Furthermore, I think the decision to appoint a new manager before, rather than after the World Cup risked all sorts of problems in the event of a poor performance by Sven's Men.

So last night's 4-0 win against Greece was very refreshing to see, in particular the new sense of dynamism in the midfield area and the way Terry and Ferdinand were encouraged to bring the ball out of defence.

With Rooney yet to return from suspension, and the prospect of a fit-again Owen in the team, it is suddenly exciting to be an England fan again.