A real "government of all the talents?"

Sir Michael White suggests J-Lo for International Development and a comeback at Defence for Denis Healey in today's G2. Iain Dale reckons Sir Alan Sugar is joining the Government. I'm not sure which of these to treat more seriously.

Here, for what it's worth, is what I think a real "government of all the talents" might look like. It is mainly made up of current Westminster players, but there are one or two leftfield choices as well as the odd blast from the past. Enjoy!

Prime Minister: Gordon Brown. Unfortunately, Big Denis is now too old for the job at 89.
Foreign Secretary: Lord Ashdown. This is really the post he should have been offered this week.
Chancellor: David Miliband. Time to see what the Boy David is really made of.
Home Secretary: David Davis. Okay, he's a Tory, but he's against ID cards which puts him to the left of Reid in my view.
Minister of Justice: Harriet Harman. She has impressed me of late.
Leader of the House of Commons: Ken Clarke. Most popular boy in the House and a genuine parliamentary reformer.
Environment Secretary: David Cameron. Let him see if he can walk the walk as well as talk the talk.
Education Secretary: Alan Johnson. A round peg in a round hole - no change needed here.
Health Secretary: Yvette Cooper. Should have been in the Cabinet five years ago.
Nations and Regions Secretary: Peter Hain. It's high time we got rid of the territorial departmens.
Defence Secretary: John Reid. This, not Home Sec, was the job for him.
Transport Secretary: Ken Livingstone. The only conceivable choice.
Local Government and Communities Secretary: Nick Raynsford. No-one understands local government better.
Work and Pensions Secretary: David Willetts. It needs more than one brain to sort this one out.
Leader of the Lords: Baroness Shirley Williams. A great, great lady.
Culture Secretary: James Purnell. Surely all that sucking up to Gordon shouldn't be in vain?
International Development Secretary: Bob Geldof. Is there a more serious political figure in the land?
Chief Secretary to the Treasury: Chris Huhne. Had to get him in somewhere.

Brown and the Libs: Some Questions

Politics is not rocket science, and the motives of those who engage in it are usually pretty transparent, but to me, there are an unusually large number of unanswered questions about the strange affair of Gordon Brown's attempt to bring senior Lib Dems into his Cabinet. Here's a few that haven't already been exhaustively covered on today's blogosphere.

* What will be the effect of this on morale within the Labour Party? Now that Gordon Brown has made clear he believes he needs to look outside the party to construct his Cabinet, will Labour MPs feel that their 300-odd nominations have been flung back in their faces?

* Will Peter Hain still be Northern Ireland Secretary after next Wednesday? If so, how will he feel about the fact that his job was offered to Paddy Ashdown?

* Does the fact that Brown made that job offer mean that he is going to retain the territorial Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish departments in government rather than create an umbrella department of nations and regions as had been rumoured?

* Would Paddy Ashdown still have said no if he had been offered the job of Foreign Secretary (as, surely, he should have been if the alternatives are more of Maggie Beckett or a comeback for Jack Straw?)

* What was Ashdown up to leaking the story to the Guardian's editor Alan Rusbridger, when he must have realised this would cause ten tons of shit to descend on the head of his leader Ming Campbell? Was he just being vain, or has he too decided that Ming is a liability?

* Will the Lib Dems in fact blame Ming, or will they just see this as a rather devious manoeuvre by Brown to get the plaudits for appearing open and inclusive without having to suffer the inconvenience of actually having the Lib Dums in his Cabinet?

* Similarly, will the public really see this as an attempt by Brown to create a "new politics," or simply as a prime example of the way the old politics works, ie completely shafting the leader of an opposition party, who also happens to be an "old friend?"

* If Ming falls and a more media-friendly figure like Chris Huhne or Nick Clegg becomes leader, could the ultimate loser in the whole affair be David Cameron, with the "liberal Conservative" vote returning to the Lib Dems?

I don't profess to know the answer to any of these questions - but it seems there is enough food for thought here not only to keep the blogosphere occupied for days but to keep historians occupied for years.

There's always a price worth paying

"Unemployment is a good and fair price to pay for low inflation."

- Norman Lamont, 1992, House of Commons. *

"Are you saying that lost North jobs are an acceptable price to pay to curb inflation in the South?" "Yes, I suppose in a sense I am."

- Sir Edward George, 1998, in reply to a question from yours truly.

"If you want to keep the union together, the Barnett Formula is a small price to pay,"

- Tony Blair, 2007, speaking at the Liaison Committee of senior MPs.

* Unclear as to whether this was his own phrase or one written for him by his researcher, D. Cameron.